Enneagram 9s are known as the peacemaker, the mediator, and the connector. They are motivated by a desire to be harmonious, connected, untroubled, and at ease.
9s seek harmony and have the incredible ability to stay calm. They tend to keep the peace with others and seek inner peace. 9s are the glue that keeps groups of people together, whether it's families or larger communities. 9s are great listeners. Other people simply like them.
Enneagram 9s are patient, supportive, and easygoing. They are quiet achievers who don’t usually seek attention for what they do. They strongly dislike arguments and conflict. They would rather walk away from a disagreement, unlike the 8s who meet conflict head-on. 9s struggle to stand their ground when they face conflict without the opportunity to flee.
9s can see all sides of a situation and easily empathize with others. Their wisdom allows them to easily understand, and then accept, opposing views, leading to an openness to compromise and bridge-building; however, they find it hard to make up their mind and often procrastinate on decisions. But unlike the 5 procrastinating to collect all the data or the 6 procrastinating due to overthinking, 9s procrastinate because they are indecisive, especially while trying to avoid upsetting anyone. They often care too much about what others think and push down their concerns instead of speaking up and taking a position on something. However, when others try to push them, they can become stubborn. They are prone to passive aggressiveness. As part of the gut triad, anger is a core emotion, but they only show true anger when they hit their boiling point. Otherwise, they are great at keeping the anger within.
9s have the least amount of energy of any number. They need to recharge, such as being alone, doing something they love, or engaging in recreational activities (often watching TV or playing video games). When charged, they are active but more quickly dispense their energy when they do work they do not enjoy or engage in arguments. 9s ultimately want balance in their life to obtain inner peace and harmony. They usually are not assertive at the expense of wanting to be agreeable. When they speak up, they may feel that they are not heard or listened to and may find it hard to express themselves. They often merge with the personalities of others to get along better. This makes it sometimes hard to type a 9 because 9s often do not notice they do this! Do not get 9s confused with 3s. 3s will also change their personalities around certain people to be liked and fit what is expected of them. 9s change their personality to mirror others or to avoid conflict. It may look similar on the outside, but the motivations are different!
Enneagram 9s move to the space of Enneagram 6 in stress and Enneagram 3 in security.
When 9s are unbalanced or out of charge and cannot recharge, they enter the space of 6. On the unhealthy side, they can fall victim to doubt and confusion about what direction to take. They can become highly skeptical. On the healthy side, they can start thinking of solutions and noticing what could go wrong or right, depending on how healthy their mindset is. It is the go-to for 9s to withdraw from stress, but 6 is a great space to be when they cannot. In the space of 6, they can sit and evaluate their struggles. This makes 9s both effective mediators and problem-solvers. 9s often avoid stress when they can, but they need to focus instead on how necessary it is sometimes and how to use it for their benefit.
9s are secure when they are fully charged or when they feel recognized and valued. 9s then pick up the characteristics of 3s, becoming efficient at what they do and trying to connect with others through their contribution. They will do what they need to do and have the potential to be even more productive than an enneagram 3 might be. 9s sometimes do not have confidence in themselves, so when they encounter others who are confident in them, they feel empowered to meet or exceed that expectation. This gives 9s the potential to be successful both in team settings and individual work. 9s also excel enormously when they have a supportive spouse and family.
Often, enneagram 9s are doing less productive activities that they enjoy to recharge, but other times they can quickly overdo it and fail at prioritizing what is important. This is not always their fault, as many 9s find it difficult to know what needs to get done now and what can be done later. Their orientation to time is the past, it takes them a lot of focus to get to the present and future problem of time management. They are also the Enneagram type that is best at multitasking.
Takeaway: 9s seek inner peace and harmony with others, avoiding conflict and often merging with other personalities. They are often seen as calm on the outside, but that does not mean they have internal peace and calm on the inside.
The vice of Enneagram 9s is sloth. This looks like psycho-spiritual laziness, the state of not being in touch with the core self. They may be asleep to their true essence, spending energy outside rather than paying attention to themselves. They can tend to keep the outside world out and the inside world in. With personal growth, Enneagram 9s can achieve the virtue of right action, a sense characterized by total engagement with the self and willingness to act on what is needed with full commitment.
Enneagram 9s are known as the elephants of the Enneagram because of their gentle disposition but unforgiveness. They have also been seen as whales, who are nonaggressive and intelligent while spending more time playing than searching for food.
Room for growth: Enneagram 9s are perceived as indecisive and need to work on stepping into action while confronting issues head-on instead of pushing them off. Work on letting other people know your views and find new ways to express yourself. Develop awareness with self-observation and mindfulness. 9s are naturally drawn towards meditation, so your practices should extend beyond this and challenge you in other ways. Seek an understanding of your needs and feelings. Deal with them instead of letting them build to a boiling point. Follow up even if there is discomfort. Engage in conversations instead of holding back. Taking a position does not mean starting a conflict. Don't forget about physical exercise and diet, since Enneagram 9s are prone to seeking comfort food during times of stress.
If you know an Enneagram 9 personally, ask them questions and help them work through passive aggression. Assist them in moving into action and indicate that you value their contribution since they often feel like their efforts go unnoticed.
Share this post with an Enneagram 8! Listen to the episode of First Line for more on Enneagram 8s.